My Heaven
by blackthorners
Summary: It has almost been three years since he returned to the guild. But of course, nothing ever stays the same. Being away for those long years has its consequences. NaLu songfic. Based on Skillet's "Lucy".


**I'm back with another NaLu one-shot! (That seems to be the only thing I write about doesn't it?) LOL. Anyway, this is (another) NaLu song-fic based on the song 'Lucy' by Skillet. I deleted the previous version and this is the second version of the oneshot... LOL. I did that because when I was reading it on my iPod, I caught so many grammatical errors and such that drove me crazy. And I missed a few words so I thought, why not just make a version 2 of it?**

**So yes, this version is the newly edited and changed version, although there isn't much change. But I'm still not sure if there are any spelling or grammar errors so feel free to correct me (because I'm convinced I missed something)! Enjoy!**

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><p>It had been nearly three years since he left Magnolia, but to him, it felt like three months only. Perhaps it was because dragon slayers aged slower than the rest of normal humans and mages, or just simply because he had so much fun with his foster father that he lost track of the days.<p>

For him, those two-nearly-three years were something that the boy had missed. He had missed what it was like, spending every day with his foster father, a _real _dragon. He missed being able to destroy things around him without complaints. That was how it was back then, and that was how it was when he finally found his dragon.

For the boy, his return to the town was something he had been looking forward to for days. He truly missed his fellow companions at the guild and he missed _her. _He missed everything about her. Every time he tried to tell a story about her or his other friends to his foster father, the dragon would just tune the dragon slayer out since it had already heard that story over five times.

But not everyone was able to spend those years in content like the salmon-haired dragon slayer. For the rest of his friends back in Magnolia, they had spent those years in misery, and mourning. A few months after the departure of him, she caught an incurable disease and passed away three weeks after. They could still recall that very day of her death—July 1st, X795, which was also the day of her birthday. She was only 21 at that time. Her age was technically 28 though, being born in the year X767. If it weren't for her and the other Fairy Tail members being stuck on Tenrou Island for those seven years, she would have been able to spend a full quarter of her life before she died. She would have been able to reach the age of 25 before passing away.

All the guild members remembered that day as if it was just yesterday. They all remembered how she would be in pain at times while Porlyusica tried to help. They all remembered how she would mutter the dragon slayer's name when she was unconscious. They all remembered her last words before she was gone. It was the worst for all of them, even for the iron dragon slayer whose heart was like metal. They had lost one of their most precious comrades to a simple disease that no one could find a cure to, and the person she wanted most by her side wasn't even there with her. Instead, that person was hundreds of miles away from Magnolia, either still looking for his foster father, or training with him.

They all gave her a proper funeral, of course. After she died, they had spent one week in the guild doing nothing, just moping around. Even the cheerful, white-haired barmaid showed no sign of emotions on her face. The request board had tons of requests; they just kept coming in non-stop. But no one went on any missions for that one week—not even the fierce re-quipping mage who preferred going on missions than staying at the guild and doing nothing.

...

Natsu stood on the outskirts of Magnolia. He smiled and took in a big breath through his nose, inhaling the air he had missed very much, the air that was filled with all his friends and everyone else that he knew in Magnolia. He couldn't wait to go to the guild and see everyone's faces, especially Lucy's. He remembered how she would always complain about how he never remembered her birthday, but he did now. It was July 1st, X798, which meant that she would be 24 years old, almost 25. And he had the perfect gift, he thought.

He slowly walked towards the guild, which happened to be in the same direction as Lucy's apartment. He was in no rush; no one from Fairy Tail knew that he would be returning that day. When he reached her apartment, he noticed something different. It didn't have her scent lingering around it anymore. The vanilla scent that was Lucy's scent just didn't seem to go into his nose and didn't drug him, like it always did. Instead, the scent was a disgusting, filthy, fishy smell. Happy probably would have liked it if he was there, but Natsu didn't. He just wasn't a fish fan like Happy was.

He decided that Lucy moved to Fairy Hills instead so that she could gossip more with the Fairy Tail females. He didn't think much about it while walking to the guild, until he reached it of course. The others were probably already expecting him back now, since two dragon slayers were still there. They probably sniffed his scent and told his other guild mates. He was so excited to see them that he didn't even think of the consequences for being absent for nearly three years.

The boy looked up at the big, brown doors that would lead him into his favourite place, with Lucy's apartment following second. He burst opened the doors, oblivious to the atmosphere in the guild.

"I'm home!"

* * *

><p><em>Hey Lucy, I remember your name<br>I left a dozen roses on your grave today  
>I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away<br>I just came to talk for a while  
>I got some things I need to say<em>

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of heaven looking back at me<em>

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I've gotta live with the choices I made  
>And I can't live with myself today<em>

* * *

><p>Natsu slowly walked to her resting spot with different-coloured roses in his right hand. In his left hand, he clutched a tiny little charm bracelet and a key ring for her celestial spirit keys that he was going to give to her when he returned as a birthday gift.<p>

...

_The salmon-haired boy opened the doors to the guild. "I'm home!" he yelled, with his infamous grin and his right fist pumped into the air. When he got solemn looks in return instead of the clapping and cheering he was expecting, his smile turned upside down into a frown. "What's wrong?"_

_Gray was the first one to speak up to the fire mage. "Natsu," he said slowly. "Do you realize how long you have been gone for?" _

"_Only three months?" Natsu asked, confused._

"_You fool!" Erza spat. "It has been two _long_years__, nearly three! We've been waiting for your return for two years now. But we all started to lose hope. We all started to think that you had abandoned us and would never return. Even she started to think like that."_

"_No! You're wrong!" Natsu shouted. _Would Lucy really think he had abandoned her? He was pretty sure she trusted him more than that, _he thought to himself. "There's no way Lucy would think that!" _

"_How can you be so sure about that?" Gajeel asked as he stepped up to join Gray and Erza. _

_Natsu was silent for a few seconds as he tried to search for the right words. "I-I'll go find her right now! I'm sure she'll be very happy to see me again!" He started to walk towards the guild doors, when Levy spoke up._

"_How are you going to do that?" Natsu whirled around in surprise. Levy was one of the people he least expected to turn against him. "Are you going to go around town, sniffing for her scent?" _

_Natsu was momentarily stunned. He had to admit, he hadn't thought that far. He really had no clue how he was going to search for her. He was about to talk back to them when two thoughts occurred to him. Why were they all like this on the day of his return? And why didn't they say her name? They seemed to be avoiding saying her name. He could smell the tension in the air and he didn't like it. It was making him uncomfortable. _

"_Wh-what happened?" he asked, in such a timid voice that even he found surprising himself. He tended to speak loudly, with certain exceptions like when Erza was giving him a glare. _

"_Everything! Everything happened!" Levy shouted, before bursting into tears. Gajeel tried to comfort her but it was no use. Eventually, she ran out of the guild with tears streaking down her face. Natsu just looked at everyone else, as if to say that he was innocent and didn't do anything. _

_But everyone knew that the reason why Levy burst into tears was partially because of him._

* * *

><p><em>Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday<br>They said it'd bring some closure to say your name  
>I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance<br>But all I got are these roses to give  
>And they can't help me make amends<em>

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of heaven looking back at me<em>

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I've gotta live with the choices I made  
>And I can't live with myself today<em>

* * *

><p>Natsu kneeled down in front of her grave, slowly caressing it, as if Lucy could somehow feel his touch from heaven. He carefully wiped the fallen leaves and the blown grass off of the grave. Lucy never liked being dirty. She didn't like having grass stuck on the back of her pants whenever she sat down on the grass. So Natsu pretended that the grave was Lucy.<p>

"Hey Lucy…"

If only he hadn't left that early. Maybe if he stayed for just one more year, he could have heard those last words coming from her mouth himself and he could have seen her state himself. If he had been patient enough, he probably could have been by her side, making her happy for the last few minutes of her life. But no, he wasn't there. He wasn't there beside her in those last few months. He wasn't there beside her when she was in her hospital bed, looking paler than usual. He wasn't there beside her when she breathed the last second of her life. And he wasn't there for her funeral.

...

_Natsu stared back at the rest of his guild mates. "What did she mean; everything happened? What happened?"_

"_Use your brain for once, flame-brain," Gray said with a glare. "Why else would Levy be this upset? Obviously something happened to her best friend."_

_Natsu wasn't the most observant person in the guild but he definitely knew who Levy's best friend was. "Did something happen to Lucy? I'm going to go find her right now!"He started to walk towards the guild doors, thinking of a plan to search for her. _

"_You're not going to be able to find her." Natsu's eyes widened at Erza's words and turned around. _

"_What do you mean; I'm not going to be able to find her?" _

"_I mean you're not going to be able to find her! You're not going to be able to sniff her scent or anything, so how will you find her?"_

"_How will I not be able to find her scent? I'm a dragon slayer, in case you have forgotten." _

"_Of course we haven't forgotten that you can slay dragons," Erza replied. "Do we really seem like the type of people to forget what our friends' abilities are?" _

_Natsu was dumbfounded by Erza's reply. He had no idea how to reply to that. "Then what did you say that I'm not going to be able to sniff her scent out?"_

"_Erza meant that she no longer exists in our world, Natsu," Mirajane softly said. Natsu saw dried tear stains on her cheeks and knew she was crying. "As of July 1__st__, X795, Lucy Heartfilia no longer existed in Earthland."_

"_Huh? But it's year X798… the year isn't X795 right now," Natsu muttered before widening his eyes. "Wait. You don't mean… no way. There's no way that Lucy is dead right? There is no possible way that my Lucy can be dead!" _

"_It's all very possible if you think about it," Mirajane replied, tears softly flowing down her cheeks once more. "Everything's possible. Natsu, if you try hard enough."_

_Natsu opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "When did this happen? How come I didn't not about this?"_

"_It was just a few months after you left…" Gray said. "Around mid-June of that year, she was diagnosed with a disease that she had apparently caught when she was on a mission…"_

"_So why didn't you guys do anything?" Natsu asked, almost shouting._

"_You idiot! We obviously tried everything we could to help Lucy. But even Porlyusica didn't know what to do!" Gray shouted back. "It was an incurable disease, called Mal Adie!" _

"_I've never heard of that type of disease though," Natsu said, with more controlled volume in his voice._

"_We had never heard of it either, until Porlyusica told us that Lucy had been bitten by an Adie bug, which gave her the disease!" _

_Natsu just stood there for a minute, not doing anything or saying anything. It was just too much for him to handle. On the day he returned from training with Igneel, he had expected some sort of happiness. He hadn't expected such news like this coming from his guild mates. He hadn't expected to hear that Lucy had succumbed to that Mal Adie disease only months after his departure. If only he had been there for her last seconds of life, it might have been easier for Lucy._

_He then decided that there was just one reasonable thing left to do. He was going to go to her grave, which he didn't need to ask where it was. He knew that it would be located at the very same yard where the other Fairy Tail members had perished. Natsu told them where he was headed for and walked out of the guild, tightly holding onto the little charm bracelet and the spirit ring he had prepared as a gift for Lucy. He walked to the nearest flower shop to buy 12 roses of each colour available. He may have been an oblivious fool but he knew what her favourite flower was. And Lucy's favourite flower was roses of any colour. _

_Natsu slowly walked to the graveyard, preparing himself to visit Lucy. He walked past the deceased guild members, though he did bow to some of them in respect. He reached Lucy's grave and was able to smell a hint of vanilla. He smiled. _Guess Lucy still has the same old vanilla scent even when she's in heaven,_ he thought._

* * *

><p><em>Here we are, now you're in my arms<br>I never wanted anything so bad  
>Here we are, for a brand new start<br>Living the life that we could've had_

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand_  
><em>Me and Lucy never wanna end<em>  
><em>Just another moment in your eyes<em>  
><em>I'll see you in another life<em>  
><em>In heaven where we never say goodbye<em>

* * *

><p>"Hey Lucy," Natsu softly said. "I'm home…"<p>

He couldn't bring himself to say anymore. The tears just started pouring out, non-stop. They rolled down his cheeks and dripped onto the grass. He quickly wiped those tears away before continuing.

"It's your birthday today, isn't it? It's your 24th birthday today." Natsu laid the roses carefully on the grave and opened his palms, revealing the two little gifts he had purposely bought for her.

"I remembered your birthday this time, Lucy. But you're not here to celebrate it with me… Maybe if I had stayed longer. If I had been more patient, maybe I would have been able to spend your last birthday with you."

...

_Lucy couldn't sleep that night. She turned and twisted around all night restlessly. _

"_Lucy?" She opened her eyelids and turned around to find herself facing Natsu and his dark brown eyes. She couldn't help but blush at the intimacy between them. She silently scolded herself though. She shouldn't have been embarrassed by that; Natsu slept in the same bed as her so many times already. _

"_They told me that you're leaving," Lucy softly said, looking intently into Natsu's eyes. "Are you really?"_

_He shifted his eyes, trying to avoid Lucy's gaze. A few seconds passed before he answered. "Yeah… I'm leaving tomorrow to find Igneel." _

_Lucy closed her eyes. She knew it. She liked Natsu, but she couldn't bring herself to confess to him. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he treated her differently if she were to confess? She didn't want to ruin their friendship. _

_She felt Natsu's body against her and flushed lavender pink. His hug was ever so comforting for her and she felt like she could stay in that embrace forever, if only that were possible. _

"_Hey Lucy…" She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow. "What if… I was to confess something that might ruin our relationship? Would you… I dunno, treat me differently?" _

_There was a little hope for Lucy. Maybe her feelings were unrequited, maybe Natsu reciprocated them! She shook her head—or tried to—to answer his question. Suddenly, she found her lips against Natsu's lips. She put her left arm around his head and pulled him in, for a cool breeze suddenly came into the room. After a few seconds, they broke the kiss, but still remained in each other's embrace. _

"_Look, I promise I'll come back," Natsu said, kissing her forehead. Lucy didn't say anymore. She nodded and with a small content smile on her face, she slowly drifted off to sleep. _

_Lucy woke up and saw that no one was in the spot that Natsu was usually at when he slept on her bed. She recalled the events from last night and blushed again, but then tears suddenly rolled down her cheeks. Natsu had said that he would be back, but could she really believe him? Would he really be able to come back safe and sound?_

...

Erza and Gray sat at the table where Team Natsu used to sit. Except it was Team Natsu's table anymore. Team Natsu didn't even exist anymore. The two just sat there with Happy in silence, recalling what happened during that mission.

...

_"Erza! Gray! Above you guys!" Lucy shouted frantically, trying to warn her two teammates of the monster's aerial attack. Unfortunately, she didn't see what was approaching from behind her. The rest of her team shouted at her to turn around and run from the gigantic bug behind her, but it was no use. The bug had already bitten Lucy and crawled back to where it came from, satisfied with its little appetizer. _

"_Lucy!" Erza and Gray delivered the final blow and ran to Lucy, who was now lying on the ground. She looked up and smiled, glad that yet another mission was accomplished._

"_Are you alright?" Happy asked. He fluttered around them, with a worried look on his face. _

_Lucy closed her eyes for a second before opening them and answering the question. "Yeah, I'm fine…" Suddenly the world seemed so dizzy to her and then everything went black._

* * *

><p><em>Now that it's over<br>I just wanna hold her  
>I'd give up all the world to see<br>That little piece of heaven looking back at me_

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I've gotta live with the choices I made  
>And I can't live with myself today<em>

* * *

><p><em>It had been three days since Lucy fainted. Even with Wendy helping Porlyusica, nothing seemed to work. Right when they were beginning to feel exhausted, Lucy slowly opened her eyes.<em>

"_Huh? Where am I?"_

"_Lucy-san!" Wendy exclaimed, joy evident in her eyes. "You're finally awake!"_

_She turned her head and saw the blue-haired dragon slayer standing beside a pink-haired elder woman. Porlyusica, she remembered. Suddenly, Gray, Erza and Happy rushed in. Lucy began to wonder where the salmon-haired dragon slayer was when they rushed in when she remembered. He had gone on a trip to search for Igneel. _

"_What happened? I feel dizzy…" Lucy suddenly grabbed onto her head, trying to snap herself out of the dizziness. _

"_Don't move anywhere. You will stay quietly in bed while I go talk to your guild mates," Porlyusica instructed Lucy before ushering the others out of the room._

"_Porlyusica-san, what is wrong with Lucy-san?" Wendy asked. Even though she had been helping Porlyusica the whole time Lucy was unconscious, Porlyusica didn't mention what might have been wrong with Lucy._

_..._

Everyone in Fairy Tail could clearly recall that very moment when Porlyusica revealed Lucy's condition to them.

...

"_She has a disease known as Mal Adie," the pink-haired healer told them. "It's an incurable disease that can only be caught if you're bitten by an Adie bug."_

"_That must have been what that huge bug was then…" Erza muttered. "It must have been an Adie bug."_

"_So what can we do then?" Gray asked the healer, hands stuffed in his pockets._

"_Were you not listening to me earlier?" Porlyusica yelled. "It's an incurable disease! You can't do anything to save her life!"_

"_But is there anything we can do to help her get through it until she… you know… is gone?" Happy asked timidly. _

_The healer thought for a few seconds before answer, "Sure. She has only a few weeks left before she no longer exists in this world. Since you guys are her friends, you guys should probably try to not go on any missions until then and spend more time with her." _

"_We understand," Erza said and then led Porlyusica to the door._

_..._

"I miss her…" Happy whined.

Levy raised her head from the book that she was reading—or she tried, since she was on that same page for the past 20 minutes—and joined Happy, Erza and Gray at their table. "I miss her too, Happy."

"I wonder how Natsu is doing…" Happy trailed off. He hadn't seen the dragon slayer for a few days now. He didn't really want to face him in his state because as one of Natsu's closest friends, he knew that this hit him _hard_. Instead he had been staying with Carla and Wendy.

...

Natsu couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't live another week without seeing her cheerful face every day. If Lucy wasn't living anymore, then he decided that he wouldn't live as well.

So the next day, he bought 12 more colourful roses. He prepared it carefully and walked to Lucy's grave for the last time, with a little sharp knife tightly held in his right hand.

"Hey Lucy…" Natsu dropped the bouquet onto the grave and couldn't stop the flowing tears. "It's already been a week since I found out about your death… You know, you and Igneel were the main reasons for my existence?

"When I found out that Igneel was gone that one day in X777, I lost myself in despair. Of course, I found the guild… but it wasn't the same with Igneel. Then I met you. _You _were the one who brought the light into my life. _You _were the one who brought me back to life, back to what Natsu Dragneel was originally with Igneel…

"You slowly filled that empty hole in my heart that Igneel had left, you know? And eventually, I gained feelings for you even though I didn't know what a 'crush' was, or how to like somebody then."

Natsu opened his right hand. He held the knife tightly and slowly brought it into the most crucial organ in his body. Gradually, blood trickled out, staining the grass and dying it red. But even as he was dying, he made sure that none of the blood would stain the grave.

* * *

><p><em>Here we are, now you're in my arms<br>Here we are for a brand new start  
>Got to live with the choices I've made<br>And I can't live with myself today_

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand_  
><em>Me and Lucy never wanna end<em>  
><em>Got to live with the choices I've made<em>  
><em>And I can't live with myself today<em>

* * *

><p>Natsu slowly opened his eyes to see a pair of chocolate-brown eyes staring back at him. "Lucy…?"<p>

"You idiot…why did you do that?" Lucy asked Natsu, while giving him a hug as a welcome. "I could have waited…"

"I missed you." Natsu said and gladly returned the hug. For that time, he was glad that they were in heaven because in times like those, silence was certainly golden and he wouldn't have wanted anything else.

* * *

><p><em>Hey Lucy, I remember your name<em>

* * *

><p><strong>YAY. How was it? :D I'm really sorry if you guys didn't like how I made Natsu die at the end but... I tend to make my characters die in fics. Yes, I'm a sadistic person and I admit it. ^^;;<strong>

**~ Aimes**


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